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12 Reasons Santa Claus Should Be Your Next Boyfriend

12 Reasons Santa Claus Should Be Your Next Boyfriend

As you might have heard, your main man Santa is back on the market. Here are just a few of the many reasons I’m actually a total catch and anyone, whether they were already married to me or not, would be lucky to be with me.

1. I have the fullest beard of any man you’ll ever meet.

I have the fullest beard of any man you'll ever meet.

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It’s all the dairy. Makes beard long, strong, and white as snow. 🙂

2. And I’m actually really buff under all that velour.

And I'm actually really buff under all that velour.

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How do you think I carry a planet’s worth of toys around on my back?

3. One workday a year = lots of time to be active.

One workday a year = lots of time to be active.

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With my 364 free days a year, I like to get out there and throw the football around, take long walks by the beach, and go on romantic hikes through the forest. You want to play hooky on a random Tuesday and take a day trip up the coast? I’m down.

4. I’ll never forget to give you presents.

I'll never forget to give you presents.

Getty Images/iStockphoto Dmitriy Shironosov

My mind is like a steel trap for schedules and dates. No anniversary is going uncelebrated with me.

5. And I always know exactly what you want. 😉

And I always know exactly what you want. ;)

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Trust me, there’s no hint you can drop that I won’t pick up.

6. I’m great with animals.

I'm great with animals.

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Pets? Sure, why not! I work with 12 moody reindeer. I can handle anything.

7. I love chocolate.

I love chocolate.

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And if I know women, all women looooove chocolate. Chocolate chocolate chocolate.

8. I might be centuries old, but I use my plentiful free time to stay current.

I might be centuries old, but I use my plentiful free time to stay current.

Getty Images/iStockphoto AlbinaTiplyashina

Just catching up on a few blogs.

9. I can tell you which of your friends are actually your frenemies.

I can tell you which of your friends are actually your frenemies.

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I’m supposed to keep the naughty list top-secret, but let’s just say you should keep an eye on your old “pal” S-a-m.

10. If you’re looking for a “partner in crime” … you found him.

If you're looking for a "partner in crime" ... you found him.

Getty Images/iStockphoto KimRuoff

Who else can say they’ve done a B&E on every house in the world?

11. My other ride is a magical flying sleigh. 😉

My other ride is a magical flying sleigh. ;)

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Talk about a whole new world, lol.

12. I’m very comfortable with toys. 😉

I'm very comfortable with toys. ;)

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If you know what I mean. 😉

 

 

 

 

via 12 Reasons Santa Claus Should Be Your Next Boyfriend.

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